Just sharing this so I don’t have to explain it over and over to many different people…
This year we decided to take in a Chinese student. He is 15 and a very nice boy. People warned me that we would have struggles. We were told to expect him to hide away and never talk to us. That he would be consumed with studies and would rarely socialize. All that was mostly wrong, except the part that said we would have struggles.
He did sometimes do very little communicating, however, he ate dinner with us every night and worked at telling us more things about his day as the months went by. He was never consumed with studying, in fact he became addicted to video games and had to be reminded to get his schoolwork done. Honestly, that was a problem we could handle. We set boundaries for times that he could play and encouraged him to try other things. He liked playing board games with the family, he was learning the guitar, and really enjoyed playing sports like basketball. Sure we had some teenager moments, but nothing major (he learned not to talk back and shush us). But over all, we liked him.
The troubles we were having all came from the woman who ran the program. I don’t think her English was very good and she started misinterpreting texts and emails and somehow she escalated problems very quickly. I would say that she would “fix a scratch with surgery”. I tried to explain myself when she responded weirdly to texts, but she would just get more reactive and more angry.
Well, today he was taken out of our home by the woman who runs the program. I’m not 100% sure what happened. I met with the boy’s teacher last week and it turned out he was sleeping in class. I told the boy the consequence was that he had to surrender his phone and computer every night at 10pm so he can get better sleep. He agreed. Last night he was up late. I confronted him and asked him to follow the rules and go to bed. Well, it turns out he was talking to the woman from the program. She took it personally that I sent him to bed. Every text today that I sent trying to resolve this was returned with a “Fine, I can have him out today.” I kept saying, “No, I’m just trying to explain so we can be on the same team”.
It was never resolved and our exchange student is gone. Dave never got to say goodbye. I do ask that you pray for this boy and my stubbornness to forgive.